YouRead

Mind Games

2006-11-13T11:30:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been caught up in a thought that will not let
you out? Escape is not an option. What was a simple drip in
your pool of thoughts, quickly turned into an ocean of
tidal waves rolling into each, over and over again.This is
what it feels like to not have positive control over your
mind.

Our minds often repeat hurtful thoughts or scenarios over
and over, even when we'd much rather let them go. If you
start really listening to your inner voice, you are
probably dwelling on the past, remembering how someone may
have let you down, or how much anger you still hold back
from being hurt. If you fear the challenges that are waiting
for you, or you are ashamed at where you are now in your
life as compared to where you had planned on being, these
fears will definitely be in line to play the mind game on
you. All of these insecure or hurtful emotions that you once
tucked away will come back to play when the game begins.
Only when they come back, you will not recognize them. This
is your first bad move. Now the mind game begins.

The game is of the mind, to confuse you in your thought
process. When your mind is triggered even slightly by a
word, a picture, or even a look, what we want to do is to
think positive, nice, sweet and safe thoughts. If you have
the slightest opening in your mind, the game will begin. It
will take a thought and wait for your first emotional
weakness. Then it will twist that thought and magnify it so
that it feeds on that weakness and sends you into that ugly
world of negative thinking.

You would give anything to shake off these negative
thoughts, but we all know so well that it's easier said than
done. Instead, you struggle through your day feeling like
you are a freak and that if you do not get a grip on this
mind game, and soon , you will explode. All that you want,
is to be free of negative thoughts and be happy all the
time.

You spend a lot of time thinking over negative feelings
and sulking over regrets and misfortunes. The worst part is
that the more you try to end this horrible game that twists
your brain so tight, the worse it gets. You will try to
avoid your hidden shames and worries, or drown them with
alcohol or drugs. All that happens when that little fix-it
ends, is that the mind game becomes stronger. New thoughts
continue, the game attacks again only to turn those thoughts
against you. You can feel them escalate into negative
scenarios in your mind, but at this point powerless. The
power of the game is winning and you are now in the
believing stage of the game. Your mind now believes your
negative thoughts. You are forced to react, and through this
reaction the mind game soars and takes over even further.
Now it not only controls you, but it has also taken control
of your entire world and whoever is in it at the time. You
collapse from the draining feeling of failure once again.
You feel that you will never be able to win this mind game.
You feel that you will be a pawn for the rest of your days
on earth. A doormat and a bug to stepped on over and over
again, because of your inability to gain strength and take
control of your positive mind. So why not just give in? Why
not just bow down whenever you fail to think positive
thoughts? Well, I will tell you why you do not want to do
that!

You are a human being with a heart and a brain. You were
given the ability to feel emotions. Emotions such as:
self-respect. self-esteem, humor, love, laughter, sexuality,
self-confidence, but most of all, you were given
intelligence and the will to survive. You were given the
gift of life. Those are the reasons to fight. How to fight,
is also right there in front of you.

You are already aware of the mind game. Most of you have
played it so long that you should be the champions by now. I
have talked about habits many times and I will keep talking
about them. Through habits you can defeat many of those mind
games. Try to simplify your thoughts. The stronger the game
tries to twist them, the harder you work to shrink them.

I read about an interesting way to look at this. Think of
your thoughts as a pop-up ad on your computer. You see it
and then you don`t. Or it pops up and you simply delete it
without giving it a second thought. Even if it was a
negative pop-up, you spend no time at all analyzing where it
came from, you simply carry on with what you were doing.
This is a good way to play, and win the game. Also another
way to play and win, is when your thought begins to twist
through the negative game, start to vocalize it. Sing it
quietly to yourself, or hum outloud. This will confuse the
game, and throw it off track. Immediately when you get a
thought that seems to be fair game, think of something very
funny or a very sad movie that made you cry. A very good
habit is to change your thought track. The game cannot keep
up when the track is jumped. Be aware that your mind is a
game field, but you have to play it in order to win. If you
do not play, you will lose by defeat. SAD!!! So my words to
you is this : KICK IT`S BUTT!!!!!!!

**********************************

It is your imagination that constructs

the limitations you see,

so use imagination

to get rid of them.

- Anonymous

***********************************

If you act like you are a powerful person,

then powerful things will

happen to you!

-Jane Eldershaw

About the author:

Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operater Website- www.womensselfesteem.com Forum- womenselfesteem.proboards29.com

Why do Bad things happen to Good people

2006-11-09T15:17:00.000+08:00

This is a question that most people grapple with from time to time and it has largely been on my mind this past week.

You see one of the best people I know -- my Uncle Carl -- had a very bad accident this week. While working on the wood lot with his son, his hand got caught in a log splitter. In the end the damage was so severe that his left hand had to be amputated.

Although no longer a young man, my uncle is very active and enjoys working with his hands. He is right handed but clearly the use of two hands was an important part of his former life and just as clearly that will have to change.

I was devastated when I heard the news and am still shaken by it -- even more so when I think about how much worse the accident could have been. My whole family is upset, especially Uncle Carl's wife and children, most notably my cousin John who was with him at the time.

As I worked through my worry and grief I kept asking myself that question: Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

I know people often say this when tragedy occurs, but this is not simple lip service -- it is fact. My uncle is a good man.

He is a very strong family man who is still married to his high school sweetheart. He loves his four children as well as his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He was a devoted son when his parents were alive and is loved by his siblings, nieces and nephews. He and his wife opened their home to many children and young people over the years and continue to open their home and hearts whenever family, friends, or community require it.

He has worked hard all his life -- using his hands to service the land and master machinery and using his broad shoulders and strong muscles to complete every task set before him.

He has played an important role in his community serving as a volunteer firefighter as well as a cornerstone of his church congregation.

Yes, he is a good man, but his life has not been easy though and I had to question why one more burden needed to be added to his heavy load.

Many Christians will say that God sends us trials to test us. And there might be some truth in that. Many of us are stronger than we think and it takes difficult challenges to make this clear. But I didn't think this applied to my uncle -- he has had many challenges over the course of his life and I think he has a good handle on his own strengths.

However loss also highlights what we have and perhaps have taken for granted. Yes, my uncle has had a difficult life but he has also had a tremendously rewarding one. I don't think there really is much that my uncle wishes for or envies in others. Yes, his siblings may have more money and professional success, but I am confident that Carl would not trade his wife and family for that money any day of the week. And I secretly suspect that if he did in fact have more money that it would be spent in large part on his loved ones.

And he is greatly loved by a great many people. Not just by his immediate and extended family but by the many people whose lives he has touched. I know there are prayers on his behalf winging from coast to coast. I don't think he'd trade that love and the respect that accompanies it for all the professional success his siblings have enjoyed.

We can grieve with him for the loss of his hand, but we can't pity him when we look at the many gifts that God has given him.

What is more, when you step back and take a look at the man he is then you do not even notice the missing hand. He is so much more than the simple sum of his parts and in the end it is the size of his heart that one notices most.

It is important to note that it was his right hand that was preserved -- the very hand he has extended so many times to others to offer love, friendship, and help.

About the author:

You can enjoy more inspirational articles by Deanna Mascle at adviceforlife.net, bestinspirationonline.com, and daily-quote.net. Submitted with Article Distributor.

Do You know the Secret?

2006-11-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

Do You Know the Secret?

If not, why not?

And what exactly am I talking about anyway?

I'm talking about the hot movie going around the internet called The Secret. It's available to be watched on the web or can be purchased on DVD at www.thesecret.tv. The movie is sweeping spiritual communities across the country, being shown in church after church, state after state. The buzz just keeps growing.

So what is The Secret?

It's the Law of Attraction.

Simply stated that means "like attracts like." The energy that you give out, is the energy that is returned to you. Or even, "what goes around, comes around."

You attract into your life whatever you focus on - whether it's negative or positive, whether you want it or not. That is the truth of the Law of attraction, plain and simple. It is a Universal Principle.

Let's say you're worried about not having enough money (a common complaint, to be sure) and you wish to have more in your bank account.

Well, focusing on NOT having enough invokes the Law of Attraction to continue your predominant thought - not having enough. As you think, so you receive. So what you must do is picture yourself, FEEL yourself, being prosperous. Yes, feeling is critical. It makes all the difference in the strength of your manifestation.

Feel what it would feel like to have a checking account filled seven figures … even better -- eight figures! Picture those numbers on your monthly bank statement. Visualize those numbers clearly in your mind, see the printed numerals on the page itself. Feel what it would be like to be that wealthy. Feel the freedom from burden, freedom from stress. Shift it further. Feel the excitement of being able to do ANYTHING you want. Cost is no longer an issue. Feel yourself starting to soar with your new potential.

But keep going. Visualize yourself using that wealth. Put it to good use. Maybe visualize driving a high-powered sports car, sailing on a yacht around the world, or holding extravagant parties at your chateau in the south of France. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Not as long as yourdesire puts you in a high vibrational state. That's the key to manifesting whatever you want. Getting into the highest vibrational state you possibly can and holding that state for as long as you can. At first, this may seem difficult, but with time it will get easier. It will even become fun.

Now you may ask yourself HOW this new-found prosperity is supposed to occur? What do you have to do? That's the magic of the Law of Attraction. It is not your job to know how it will occur. It is your job to hold a clear vision of what it is you want and FEEL it into existence.

As you continue to so do, strange things will being to occur. People, places, and circumstances will show up in your life in ways that you couldn't have planned for. Opportunities will "fall into your lap." Your job is to watch for these opportunities, then follow them. Trust your intuition and take the steps necessary to move forward into your new life of prosperity. Follow the guideposts.

As the Bible states, "It is done unto you as you believe."

And that, my friends, is the secret of the Law of Attraction.

About the author:

Ronald A. Peer is a writer and spiritual practitioner based in Phoenix. Discover more about The Secret movie and the Law of Attraction at SecretsoftheSecret.com.

Be a Visionary Thinker, not an Idle Dreamer

2006-11-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

Self motivation is something many of us find hard. We know what we want but we just can't seem to get motivated to do anything about getting it. But, if you're going to get to where you want to get to, you need to be a visionary thinker and not an idle dreamer.

Too many people dream of the life they want but are unable to be any plan of action into getting that life. We all dream. Dreaming is the easy part. But how to change a dream into a vision - a vision that will propel us in to that life?

Many successful people have the ability to role-play the life they want. They may not be where they want to be, but that doesn't stop them from acting out the life they want; the life they know, one day, they'll have. The ability to do this is important. Many of us are rational thinkers, and know that we could make every aspect of our 'dreams' come true, but we take absolutely no action towards making any of them likely to happen.

We can all learn a lesson from watching children. All children learn about themselves and the life they're going to live through play. They simply play at being the person they want to be; a doctor, a teacher, a scientist, a mother. They use props around them to act out the life they going to have. They will show everyone one around them, the husband they going to marry, the car they're going to have, the new worlds they'll be the first to discover. I'm not suggesting that we all revert to playing like children, however role playing and vocalising our future will helps us. But why does acting out our dreams make an impact on our motivation?

Firstly, it helps us to feel some of the pleasure and enjoyment which the realization of our dreams will bring. It has been shown, time and again, that we are much more likely to achieve goals which trigger strong emotions in us.

Secondly, role playing implants unforgettably inspiring, vivid images in our subconscious. Even imaginary seeing is believing.

By expressing your vision, you turn your daydreaming of mixed up, meandering and unconnected images into lifelike, linked and solid visions. Your visions will be lifelike, linked and consistent; more like a believable documentary than a whimsical fairytale. The more you believe in your goals the more likely they are achieved. You can use the picture power of your imagination to fix a vivid, detailed, inspiring image of your desired future in your subconscious mind.

We can also use our visionary thinking from the past to help motivate us for the future. We can use the wisdom we have gained from our life and re-apply and re-kindle the dreams of our childhood and youth. Don't be afraid to recollect those grandiose dreams. By honestly re-experiencing the dreams and aspirations of our earlier life, we can confirm that those dreams of yesteryear are, at heart, the dreams we carry in our heart today. But now we can use our experience to find an acceptable compromise.

About the author:

Robin O'Brien is founder of a website and who is pursuing a journey inner self discovery. You can visit his site to read many more self improvement articles.

Love is Understanding

2006-11-06T10:48:00.000+08:00

You've heard it said: "Love is patient and kind." If love is patient,
it may be because love is truly understanding.

Do you know what the most common craving is among pregnant women?
(I'm sure this is factual.) The most common craving among pregnant
women is not spicy food, pickles or ice cream. Not even close. It is
for MEN to get pregnant.

Why? Because then they would know what it is like! Then they might be
more patient. What most women need during times of cravings,
discomfort, swollen ankles and morning sickness is... understanding.

Much of our conflict is simply misunderstanding. As a new bride, one
woman moved into the small home on her husband's ranch in the
mountains. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her
husband never to touch it.

For 50 years he left the box alone, until his life partner was old
and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he
found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he discovered two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took
the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She
told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got
mad at you."

Her husband was touched that in 50 years she'd only been upset enough
to make two doilies.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

She explained, "Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the
doilies."

Marge Piercy beautifully said, "Life is the first gift, love is the
second and understanding is the third." But it is love that gives us
life and understanding that brings about love.

Making doilies might take your mind off the problem, but it won't
change anything. The path from conflict to love is not by way of arts
and crafts. It is through the valley of understanding.

About the author:

Steve Goodier is a newspaper columnist and author of numerous books on personal development. Visit his site for more information, free eBooks or to sign up for his ezine newsletter of Life, Love and Laughter at LifeSupportSystem.com. Submitted with Article Distributor.

Nothing Should Offend You

2006-11-03T10:16:00.000+08:00

Our society has changed over the years. One area that bothers me is what people refer to as the term ‘politically correct.’ In the past, no one thought about saying, “That offends me.” so you have to change to make me comfortable. “You can’t sing the traditional Christmas song or say a prayer in public places.”

We can go on and on today about how people’s individual opinion has changed our society. In my opinion, our society today has become sterile and dull. If we go back to the building of our country, people flowed here from every country and helped to build the greatest society the world has ever seen. Each person brought with them their dreams, their desires, their traditions, and families.

They worked hard to make a life for their families. Today, we’ve seeing this attitude change. People are demanding instead of giving. There are a few who are demanding we cater to their feelings. So they won’t be offended, the few are demanding we not share our traditions. They shout this ‘offends me so you all have to change.’

Every action and thought has a dominoes effect in the universe. No one can offend you and it can’t be forced on you. It is a choice. When a few people demand everyone changes so they can feel comfortable, they have offended the majority.

Everything, we do is governed by a law and effect follows. If everyone demanded society changes so they won’t be offended, chaos would rule. At times, I think it almost there. We all have heard of these people in the news.

Every time, I’ve heard these people speak. The same attitudes convey from them. They emote unhappiness, selfishness, low tolerant, and small thinking. Thanks to our courts, we are catering to people who chose to be unhappy and selfish. We all know someone like this. Without thinking, we want to avoid them because we don’t to get sucked into their unhappiness.

We should be celebrating everyone’s differences, traditions, their dreams and hopes. It will bring so much happiness. You don’t quite know how to take it all in. Celebrating in others joy, dreams brings what you want from the universe in your life. When you take the time to learn and understand someone else’s traditions. You understand each other’s beauty.

Everyone is special. Most traditions show people’s history or what’s important to them. It builds self-esteem to have traditions. It helps to know where your roots come from in life. Those of us who don’t have them wonder around in a daze, wondering who they are.

The few who scream, “I’m offended,” are truly the offensive people. Our courts are catering to them. The downside of this attitude, it teaches children to be bigots and low tolerant of others.

I decided to create a website where people can talk about their traditions and share them. In hopes, it will teach us all to be tolerant of each other differences. We should be cherishing them and not shoving them in a closet. Join me and let’s talk about why we’re so special and what makes our lives rich. I’ve yet to see a tradition that doesn’t make sense.

I was taught in school as a little girl and have found it to be true: “You don’t know a Man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.”

About the author:

LaRene Ellis is a young adult author with six children. She has written a new science fiction/fantasy series called Stones Quest. You can go to her website at www.LareneEllis.com regarding personal growth, positive thinking, and success quotes. You can read how she overcame her past from growing up without parents and siblings.

The Quickest Way to Get is to Give

2006-11-02T10:17:00.000+08:00

It’s true. You can’t really get what you want in life until you have given it to others. Doesn’t sound like it makes much sense, does it? How can you give what you don’t have? As you open your mind to the possibility and ask this question of yourself, you allow opportunity to come to you and knock at your door. Then you will find a way that it is possible to give to others what you want, before receiving it yourself.

It almost sounds like a chain letter and in a way it is. The chain letter is a facetious reference as so many of us have been exposed to them by now and know they are illegitimate scams. Yet the basic principles are: you give before you receive, and you give with the faith and expectation of receiving. A similar modern example can be seen in the film ‘Pay It Forward’. By giving to others, you allow good things to happen to you. And this all boils down to the simple law of attraction.

The law of attraction is like any other law of nature, like gravity. And like gravity, it is not one that has been generally ‘discovered’ yet. As a result, most of us are walking around thinking in a completely disordered paradigm.

Disordered paradigms of thought are displayed over and over in history, and discoveries of natural laws and observations of reality have brought order to transform the mistaken beliefs that had been accepted for fact. You can think of many examples, such as the belief that the world is flat, or the belief that we are at the center of the universe. Or the great changes that resulted as a discovery of the force of electricity and harnessing its natural power.

In this same way, we are able to make a change in our own disordered thought patterns. Right now 99% of us are probably dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction means larger life is seeking to be expressed through us, and it is being blocked. Self-sabotage is a very real process working in the invisible realms of the unconscious mind.

The good news is there are a lot of simple, small but powerful techniques you can use to reprogram that all powerful unconscious mind of yours, to order your own life as you want it. Yes, there IS a way to eliminate the chaos in your life, and it starts within. It starts by eliminating the often unseen chaos in your own mind.

The technique in this article is only one of a vast array that you can use on a daily basis to improve your life dramatically. In this article you are learning how to use the law of attraction to attract to yourself what you want.

The law of attraction, like gravity, is undefiable. You will attract what you are sending out. Your thoughts are real in the world of attraction.

If your mind is resonating with patterns of anxiety, stress, anger, sadness, envy, grief, or any other negative emotion, you will be attracting more of the same in your life.

One step you can take to change this is to focus on giving to others before you receive yourself. In this way you are changing your vibration and your focus. And you open yourself to receive what you had been closing off before.

It is very simple to give. Give of what you have, and everyone has something to give. We all have innate value to offer the world. An abiding philosophy in the law of attraction is to always offer an increase in value, to give back more in value than you receive in money. In this way you continue to give more than you get and attract more and larger life back to yourself.

Take a moment to look within and find something, anything, no matter how small or simple, to give to anyone, friend or stranger. Start the practice of giving, and you will take one step towards raising your level of vibration and enhancing the value of what you attract in your own life. Give something selflessly today, knowing that you will receive it multiplied back in your life, tenfold.

About the author:

Carina MacInnes is an author and entrepreneur who offers a powerful way to increase both health and wealth in your life. See her site here: imagineacai.com She is also giving away an e-course with awesome wealth secrets by her favorite mentor. Receive it now: mailto:milliondollarsecret@robotreply.com

Afraid of Making Money?

2006-11-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

I believe one of the obstacles that keep people from succeeding is one very basic fear:

The fear of making big money.

Not just fear of making money... but the big moolah.

If you don't think that is a fear that is stopping you then you analyze those rich people closely.

Some of them feared making money because their parents were not high earners. If they made more money than their Father, they reasoned, what kind of son or daughter would they be?

Sounds crazy but this is not what we want but what this is what our sub-conscious mind is reminding us.

Others fear that making big money would 'change' them somehow and they would not be the same person anymore- the same person that people know, love and care for.

True story:

I have a friend whose friends are no longer close to her anymore because she has grown to be more successful than them. She has become a 'bigger' person now.

They start to pick on her like...

"She thinks she's the only person busy with her work."

The truth is... she is BUSY with her work and building a strong financial support but her friends don't have that kind of being busy privilege.

And they'll look for her weaknesses to find chances to pick on her.

Are her friends bad? Not really. They're just reacting towards 'change'. Instead of responding, they're reacting.

They'll feel...

"She's not the same person anymore."

Yes, she chanced to be better and wiser.

So if she changes to be more successful, she'll fear that her friends might not like her they way they used to.

That's just one example.

The fear of making big money is REAL. It's in your mind and the only thing that is moving you is YOUR MIND.

However, you may not believe you are influenced by this fear because it sounds really silly.

But think about it for a minute.

Maybe what you really fear is 'change'... and if you made big money it would change you and your life.

That is why most lottery 'millionaires' end up spending or losing most of their winnings a year or so after they've won... they seek 'normal' lives again where nothing ever changes.

It's not hard to make big money... the hard part is giving yourself permission to make it and keep it.

Yes, I said give yourself PERMISSION to start making big money.

The game of becoming rich is an internal one... just like golf, or becoming an Olympic athlete. The problem is inside us... lack of confidence and self-esteem are the enemies.

Don't let fear of making money stop you. Start believing in yourself, check your self-esteem and make a wise informed and profitable choice for your future.

One of the way to solve this is by using... an anchor.

With an anchor, you have the power to do a simple act and you'll instantly be able to eliminate that fear of making money. Sounds interesting, isn't it?

No, this is not trying to use affirmation. It's scientifically proven to work. The 'technology' for using anchoring is introduced in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

This is probably the fastest way to change your emotions instantly.

I'll show you how to experience 'success'.

Think of a time when you have a very successful experience. It can be when you get number #1 in any competition.

It can be an experience when you beat Your competitors to be a winner.

It could even be when your wife agreed to marry you!

Now focus on the feeling of success you have experienced last time. Pull out the memory of how it felt like ... to be successful, to be on top of your game.

Engage that feeling. Are you feeling it?

I know it's hard while reading this article but you'll need to practice it if you want to know how it works.

See yourself when you have achieve success, hear the claps and cheers, remember the smell of room where you're winning the prizes and feel it.

Then it's time for you to create an anchor at that exact moment of time.

Many types of actions can be an anchor for you.

You can twist your ear, move your fingers 5 times, clinch your fist 3 times, rub your hands together, make an arm swing or just do anything you can think of that can have a special meaning for you.

This anchor will be engrossed with the state you in. And the state that you're in at that moment of time is when you're experiencing your successes.

The more passionate or lively the experience, the better anchor you will create.

About the author:

Patric Chan is an author, international speaker and founder of the "You Chan Do It! Personal Achievement Newsletter of eSuccessMastery.com. You can get his latest success tips and strategies to achieve your goals quicker and easier for FREE at his blog: www.motivatedforsuccess.com

How To Be an Achiever

2006-10-31T11:47:00.000+08:00

Go back to your school days. Think of some friends who could never finish their examinations? They always had some or the other excuse to leave few questions unanswered. In our life, we come across people who never finish what they begin to do. They are always having some very good excuse for not finishing the given task. These people never achieve anything in their life and are full of complaints about their fate, their friends, their family, and the world in general.

On the other side, we find some stars, who finish the most difficult work finding different ways and overcoming insurmountable obstacles. Why this difference? If you study carefully, a non-achiever will always begin some work with great enthusiasm, then slowly the enthusiasm will get replaced by tiredness and excuses and by the time he/she were supposed to finish, he/she would have invented excuses. Whereas the achievers don't show enthusiasm, but it seems that they are studying the situation. After some study, they plan out the way to finish the task and then begin. They stop only after finishing it. Right from beginning, you will find determination in them that they would be able to do it.

Can we turn a non-achiever in an achiever. Yes. It can be done. The first step is to talk to the non-achiever and without hurting his/her self esteem, point it out that the achievements are very low. Then in a friendly manner, and without making any criticism, ask them for the reasons. They will come out with their old script of how things never turn out right for them. Listen them out. Don't get irritated. Don't show any expression but understanding on your face. Let them know that you are for them and not against them. Tell them that you understand what they say.

Now is the time to plan something with them. Give them a small task and monitor the progress. As they proceed, you will see the signs given before. At this juncture, gently show them different ways to finish and tell them that the happiness of completing the job will be much greater than the happiness of blaming others if the job remains incomplete. Carry out this exercise few times with them and they will begin to realize their mistake. They will slowly begin achieving and turn out a lesson for other non-achievers.

This problem is found by many employers in their employees, by many parents in their children and by many coaches in some members of their team. The trick lies in being with the person, rather than taking the role of a judge. Inspire the non-achiever with some ecards. Everyone of us can not be a success from day one. We must support and contribute to the development of other personalities.

About the author:

Writing for greeting cards, screensavers and desktop wallpapers is the hobby of CD Mohatta. The websites, he writes for are screene.com and funquizcards.com. He writes messages on motivation, management, nature, spirituality, holidays and more.

Seizing the moment: Selflessness

2006-10-30T11:40:00.000+08:00

Become totally absorbed in the moment by performing acts of such utter selflessness that you forget yourself. Consider this scene at the hospital in Baidoa, Somalia, in 1992: A CBS News crew could hear the rat-a-tat-tat of automatic weapons fire in the marketplace, only a hundred yards away. Within minutes, bodies were thrown onto the floor of the makeshift emergency room run by an American group, the International Medical Corps. Twenty died before anything could be done. Among the forty remaining, there was a small four-yearold girl. She was clearly "bleeding out". There was no blood bank, no blood substitute. One doctor, a pediatrician named Mickey Richer, from Denver, Colorado, calmly took a intravenous needle, asked a technician to insert it into her vein, and then drew a pint of her own blood. She transfused her universal donor "0" positive blood into the small girl and saved her life.

Heroism is an act of utter selflessness, and it is only through heroic acts that I believe we become truly great. While you may never have the opportunity of jumping into a swift river to pull out a small child or running into a blazing building to drag out a trapped family, you do on a daily basis have the opportunity of practicing the same form of selflessness as front-page heroes. Those small acts of kindness go a very long way.

Many of us believe that Karma is some kind of good or bad will that indiscriminately afflicts us. In Buddhism, however, good Karma is built task by task. In a lecture I attended, Geshe Michael Roach of the Asian Classics Institute in New York emphasized that we are not made or broken by life's big events, but by how well we perform the mundane small tasks. How you say hello, your politeness in traffic, your helpfulness at work - each task is building either good or bad Karma. Perform tasks with a high mood, good spirits - in other words, with positive affect - and you will create your own good luck.

Undertake them with resentment, anger, or negative affect, and you'll slowly sow the seeds of your own destruction. One of my father's patients, who had built a large fortune from nothing, explained his success by saying: "Don't spoil your success. The surest way to spoil your success is by littering your day with small acts of meanness."

Create a vision and then enter into it

Entering the moment unlocks your visual imaging capabilities in the posterior part of your brain. And remember, the strongest, most creative thought processes in the human brain are called visual spatial, basically thinking in three-dimensional pictures instead of words. According to Thomas West, when Einstein developed the theory of relativity, he did so by imagining it. Great poets such as William Butler Yeats imagined what they would write about, creating a picture, then putting it into words. Churchill was a visual thinker, as are many leaders of the new digital age. The reason that visual thinking is so important to positive thinking is that it allows you to run movies in your head. The more you run these movies, the less you'll focus on petty concerns that drag you out of the moment. I tell my son to enter the moment in a conversation by forming a mental image and then describing it, as a sports announcer describes a play. You'll find that you become much more alive in conversation than if you just grope for words. Describing a picture in your head concentrates your brain in the moment. Practice creating those visions during your afternoon nap or as you fall asleep at night. It's a great way to enter the present, forget the anxieties of the day, and put yourself to sleep.

Fight to stay in the present!

There are many forces dragging us out of the present. By monitoring exactly where you are, fight getting pulled into the past or the future. Below are two mottos to live by:

Don't let the future ruin the present. The greatest setback to living in the moment is having permanent anxiety about the future. For many of us, a hypothetical future ruins the present. I see this in the playground in New York. Amazing little children running, skipping, jumping, and playing in the playground while their fathers are standing by, cell phone in hand, oblivious to the great joy they could share with their children. Deeply anxious about the future, the fathers are busy making Saturday-morning phone calls to the office; rather than living in the moment and recovering from a long week of hard work, they're tense.

Don't get dragged into the past. Don't let the past ruin the present, either. Every small hurt and slight during a day, or a bigger one in the recent past, can find us replaying the event over and over. The setback could be missing a flight, getting a larger-than-expected credit card bill, denting a fender, spilling a drink, or losing a cell phone. If you've suffered an insult or setback, you want to get over it and quickly get back into the present. Try quickly to focus on what went wrong, why it went wrong, what you can do to prevent it in the future, and then instantly recover your good mood.

So seize each important moment of every day and live it to the fullest and remember that selflessness can go a long way towards that end.

About the author:

Dr Leo Kady is a retired physician and researcher and relishes information in a variety of fields. Dr Kady is an editor for uPublish.info ... www.upublish.info . Please feel free to peruse more articles of inspiration and self help at uPublish.info

Persistence is key

2006-10-27T09:33:00.000+08:00

Once, there was a dog named Manty. She was a typical house pet in a typical middle-income family. The family lived in a rather small house. So, home to Manty was the backyard, which was rather small too.

Manty’s world revolved around the four corners of this small backyard, which was likewise used as the laundry area. Peculiar as it may seem, Manty had a favorite area in this backyard where it slept and stayed. This was the area under the sink, where most of the laundry work was being done.

Manty shared its favorite space with the laundry woman. The laundry woman stored all sorts of soapboxes, pails, basins and tools under the sink, which created obstructions for the poor dog. But still, Manty would be found crawling under its favorite area and making itself comfortable amidst these objects. At times, the laundry woman stored heavy objects in Manty’s favorite spot that the poor dog had to struggle to move these objects aside just to be able to squeeze itself in. Manty could hardly move; but somehow, it still liked the spot very much.

All sorts of combinations have been done to discourage the dog from sleeping under the sink; but still, the dog always managed to squeeze itself in. When Manty found it difficult to fit itself into the spot, she would sit for a while looking at its favorite spot as if contemplating and thinking of a way to get itself into it. And in each of its attempts, it succeeded.

Aren’t you amazed at such a display of persistence? To think that Manty is just a dog makes it more amazing!

If a dog has such level of persistence, why can’t we humans have the same? If we meet obstacles, we easily wave the white flag of surrender. This shows our lack of persistence, determination, and tenacity in pursuing our goals.

It takes persistence to move forward to progress. If we stop somewhere along the road towards success in life, it is like starting from the top again. When we give up, we lose everything we worked hard for: time, effort, money, and most especially, the opportunity to succeed in life.

We will never know how close we are to success if we surrender somewhere in-between. It is a choice between success and failure. Surrendering is accepting failure. Persistence to continue, despite obstacles, is the way to success.

We can accept failures, why not? Our mindset must be programmed to perceive failures as temporary. Failure is a pre-requisite to success and it is only temporary. When we fail, it is time to assess and learn from our mistakes. Then, we must find another way and still move on until we reach the door of success, never wavering to whatever obstacles that may hinder us.

We should open our minds and expect instances when we will be confronted with obstacles that would result to making a decision whether to continue or not. We may be undecided which course of action to take next. The best way is to examine the options and alternatives available to us. From there, we can move forward and continue to our journey towards the achievement of our goals.

Success is never easy, and failure is part of success. The sad part is that most of us are deterred by the mere thought of failure, and this paralyzes us from taking the right course of action.

We see many people who easily give up and are satisfied with their own meager sense of accomplishment. They simply sit back and watch successful people enjoy life while they engage in self-pity, regretting that they have given up too soon.

The choice is ours to make.

About the author:

Donald Ogilve owns www.masteryourfate.com, Self-Improvement and Success Resource Site. Go here for free eBooks, tips and recommendations on Life Mastery.

Reincarnation is a promise of unconditional love

2006-10-26T12:04:00.000+08:00

Reincarnation is the grandest aspect of unconditional love, and the least understood as part of our natural life cycle.

Because many people do not understand what unconditional love really is, it is no wonder that they do not understand or recognize the value of reincarnation. Conditional love would say that you have one turn on the holodeck. Unconditional love would say that you have as many turns as your feel necessary to experience all that you desire.

When we love our children unconditionally, we do not try to change them, but to guide them. We give them as many turns as necessary unconditionally to make it on their own. A good parent recognizes the strengths of their children, and allows freedom for them to explore there own potential, while still maintaining their love for them. Mistakes, errors, screw-ups are all part of the learning process and a parent doesn't withdraw their love or threaten because the child wonders off the path or makes a mistake.

Unconditional love is unconditional freedom-freedom to make as many mistakes as is necessary to accomplish a desired goal. Reincarnation is the ultimate freedom that our creator has given us-to come back as many times as is necessary to accomplish a desired experience. No love could be greater than that. It is a birthright that is known by the soul before it incarnates into the physical world.

In the awareness of the possibility of reincarnation, one is given unlimited freedom and limitless opportunity to fully explore the physical world, and what it has to offer. In the awareness of this freedom, comes confidence that one will achieve his desires on a grander scale.

In the awareness of my own physical experience, I know that I will probably wake up tomorrow and carry on with my life and what I had planned for today, next week, and next year. There is continuity in what I desire from one day to another because my focus is on a limited physical life that may last up to 100 years or longer. However we are often taught or believe that we must focus on the first 65 years. Often little thought is given to the next 35 or so years, because we don't consider them productive, or at the very least we believe them to be our declining years, and a prelude to death or non-life.

We often miss the importance of these years as a prelude to another life-a preparation for a transformation to a higher level of existence in a more evolved world-the one we already live in. What we are doing here is experiencing physical life and all that it has to offer, but we are also preparing the world and our children to create the next world that we will experience upon our return.

Recently I finished reading the book "The Indigo Children." I was first alarmed by the realization of their existence and what they were bringing into this world now. Their characteristics are rebellious to current conditions and a world that is about to transform. Old ideas die hard, and transformation brings chaos and death to ideologies that have brought us this far.

For a brief moment I was feeling uncomfortable about these children-the worlds new stewards. Then I realized that they would not be stewards of my old world, but of a new world I have helped create, and that I will be returning to later. I will become one of these children upon my return. I will be one of their indigo children in one or more generations of physical life. I must trust them to take care of this world in my absence.

In awareness and focus of a physical existence that spans more than one lifetime, I can see the significance of reincarnation. I can also see how important it is not to give up on what I am creating or experiencing now. I can see how vital it is to have long term goals, aspirations, and concerns for the world and its future circumstances.

Many of us do not consider these important aspects of physical life and their significance to our own future.
I have said myself in short sightedness-that I am glad I am leaving this world behind-that I will not have to deal with a future I do not understand. I have also felt like many that I do not understand the new generation and their indifference to what I know of this world, and have experienced.

For many, there is some comfort in a belief that they will die and go somewhere else-that they will not return, and they will not have to deal with what they have left behind. However this would be like starting a new book and finishing it after the first chapter. It is very short sighted and an unenlightened philosophy.

Reincarnation is a very real option for most of us-it is also a choice, a choice of freedom that comes from unconditional love. Most of us will return, and carry-on with our lives in a new body, that is equipped for the new world we have been building generation after generation. This is long term thinking that is consistent with the natural tendency for life to always move towards a higher level of experience.

I welcome these new children (our future leaders). I look forward to understanding them and to giving them guidance and opportunity. I am excited at the prospect of being one of their children, and being guided by them into a future world that will be different than the one I have known and left behind.

I believe one of the greatest hindrances to our own evolution has been this misconception-that we will not have to deal with the circumstances of the present world, after we have passed on-that it is all over. This short-term thinking has left our children a world that they must abandon or clean up. Many of us have disowned this world, thinking that we have not been part of its evolution-nothing could be farther from the truth. Everyone that has been born into this world, has contributed to its circumstances and evolution. You are responsible whether you accept it or not. You have participated in its technology, its pollution, and its degradation. You have contributed to the necessity for a new human to evolve to take over for you. You have created your new parents and a new world. You have left your example, your history and your insight for others-and a promise of a reincarnated you, to follow. Death is not an escape-it is another opportunity to repeat your mistakes or move away from them.

When seen from this perspective, life brings on a whole new expanded meaning. It brings greater opportunities for more abundance, happiness, and a brighter future. It leaves behind fear as we begin to make friends with it-in the realization that it is within our own personal power to create the world of our dreams. We will not be punished for our mistakes; we will experience the results of them, and will have the freedom to move away from them-at will.

This life is not final, and you will have as many turns as you wish. Your present incarnation is not the first stage, nor is it the last and there will be as many as you desire. You are not doomed, nor are you a victim-you are a creator. It is within your own personal power to create the world which suites you. It is within your own thoughts to experience the present world as Heaven, Hell, Nirvana, Stovokor (if you're Klingon) or anything else that your imagination is capable of.

You will return to this world and experience it as anything that you can imagine. Where-ever you think you are going, that is what you will experience. But, it will not be another place-it will be the place that you have created-here! It is the experience of the physical world that changes, not the physical world itself. Matter is formed and reformed in a manner that reflects your thoughts, your imagination.

Reincarnation comes from the greatest love of all-unconditional love. Unconditional love is unconditional freedom to experience all that you desire-unconditionally!

Just as I have created these pages, I know I will have a chance to change them-make any corrections that I feel necessary. I will do this in a near future (over breakfast), that I will create. Because I know that I will have this opportunity-I will not panic, I will not be desperate, and I will not react from fear.

It doesn't matter whether you believe in reincarnation or not. What you believe now, is what you will experience when you die. However, because you have freedom to choose, why would you not choose to experience something that works within your own best light? Why would you choose something that does not raise you to the next level of awareness-something that is better than what you are experiencing now?

Reincarnation is just such a choice. It is our birthright, our inheritance, our guarantee of continuance. Life cannot be created nor destroyed. Life is all there is, and it continuous.

About the author:

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A published author, a student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination, and take you to places you would never have thought about. Authors and Publishers visit our new article Directory at www.klienwachter.com/adarticles Visit Roy at: www.klienwachter.com

The Six Traits of Successful People

2006-10-25T08:49:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered why successful people seem to turn everything they touch into gold while you seem to be stuck with a pocketful of lead? Do you tell yourself that they must have been born with more money, better looks, and a better education than you? Even as you comfort yourself with this line of thought, do you find yourself pushing away the knowledge that people like Ogg Mandino and Zig Ziglar were dirt poor and that Dave Thomas never graduated from high school?

I have spent most of my adult life studying the lives of people who are successful in life and in business because I wanted to be one too. My discoveries parallel those of Napoleon Hill, Robert Allen, and Thomas J. Stanley, 3 men who have also spent many years studying the habits of successful people. Here are six traits that successful people share, traits you can learn and develop for yourself.

1. Successful people are dedicated learners, most of them reading for hours each day. They seem to know intuitively that continuing to learn about the world and other people is part of what lets them be creative and make sound decisions.

2. Successful people have a burning desire to accomplish the thing they are working on. It's more than a passing fancy, more intense than a dream, and is more focused than a goal. It is a melding of logic, emotion, and the spirit. Do you remember when you fell in love for the first time? That intensity is a component of burning desire.

3. Successful people develop highly specialized knowledge. They are experts in their chosen field and have learned every aspect of their field or niche. Though they do read and learn about other subjects, successful people become deeply involved in their chosen field and are rewarded for their expertise.

4. Successful people are disciplined. They use discipline to keep themselves focused, and they count on discipline to get them through hard times when they may be discouraged emotionally. Discipline gives them the self-control to do the things that aren't very much fun but must be done if their project is to succeed. I read somewhere that successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. I like that saying because it doesn't say that successful people necessarily like doing what unsuccessful people aren't willing to do. It just means that they get the thing done and keep moving.

5. Successful people tend to have a decisive nature. They are able to make most decisions fairly quickly and don't second guess themselves once a choice is made. They take full responsibility for their choices, whether the decision was the right one or not.

6. Successful people surround themselves with other successful people and people who have a can-do attitude. This is what people are referring to when they talk about a mastermind group. They network with other people and turn to successful people for encouragement when times are hard. They seem to actively avoid working with people who are habitually negative. They do their brainstorming with a carefully chosen mastermind group, and they don't let negative people steal their dreams.

Look over this list of traits of successful people. How many of them do you see in your life? What can you do to encourage development of these traits in your life? If you don't have one, what could you do to develop a mastermind group of your own?

About the author:

Monica Willyard trains home business champions who go the distance to live their dreams. She believes that personal mentoring combined with a proven game plan are the keys to success. If you're interested in learning more about becoming a champion, visit www.clarion-jayde-publishing.com today.

Character is Higher than the Intellect

2006-10-24T10:57:00.000+08:00

We all know how easy it is to follow the majority, to do as everyone else seems to be doing, to do only that which is considered average. It takes a strong individual to live a life based on his or her own ideals. Such a person shows strength simply in ability to remain on a chosen path regardless of the inevitable counter forces.

It is the fear of these counter forces that keeps most of us away from our natural desire to learn in order to fulfill our desire for acceptance. It is the fear of these counter forces that threatens us to inaction rather than face failure.

Although we tend to restrict ourselves, we admire those who have the tenacity to face up to these forces in order to live the way they choose. To those who have used their mind to perceive and understand the unknown we recognize their intellect. To those who go the extra step of being a living example of their beliefs we recognize their character.

We offer our highest admiration to those who act, those who demonstrate character. We recognize that it is not only amazing to have reasoning power and knowledge, it is incredible to veer from the norm and act in a way as to be a living example of one’s beliefs. Through our admiration we realize that character is higher than intellect.

Now, it would seem that rather than placing these people on a pedestal , it would be better to let them serve as models for us. Rather than merely admiring their daring we could stand to benefit from their example, the example of action.

Such an example was given to us by Thomas Edison and his Insomnia Team who were named as such because of their long hours. He chose to spend most of his waking hours with these men, who were just as dedicated as he, working endlessly on a given belief.

Edison also made a point to clearly demonstrate his determination through an open door policy with the media. Though he was mainly doing this in an attempt to secure financial backing it gave the rest of the world a clear picture of this man’s character.

Edison and the Insomnia Team showed their persistence and determination often throughout the years. One of the inventions that called heavily on these qualities was the light bulb. Edison and his Insomnia Team could have given up after a couple attempts, yet even after a couple hundred attempts; however, they continued on even into thousands of attempts.

Edison could not be discouraged; rationalizing that since they had only found thousands of ways it could not be done, he could only be closer to the right answer. Edison and the Insomnia Team above intelligence showed character. Their determination pushed aside the counter forces and their diligence was rewarded after over three thousand attempts.

Determination such as this should be ours since it is the very substance that promotes action. This, of course, is easier said than done. Recognizing that action is spurred by determination may be a key to a new way of living.

If we believe in something, the beliefs of others, particularly those who speak of impossibilities should be ignored. Since we all are able to rationalize that error is part of human nature we should not be afraid of it, rather we should look at it more like Edison who saw it as a stepping stone bringing him closer to his goal.

In realizing that character is higher that intellect we should not only admire it in others we should strive to make it our own.

This empowering thought is fuel to drive us to success. We have the power to be the best we can be by acting on our dreams. We can learn what we need along the way.

About the author:

Marie Gervacio is founder and editor of Article Blender.com ShineYourStar.com, and SimpleBeautyTips.com. Get free content for your website, ezine or blog and/or publish your articles at ArticleBlender.com. Submitted with Article Distributor.

Eight Lies of a Mother in her life

2006-10-24T10:46:00.000+08:00

The story began when I was a child; I was born as a son of a poor family. Even for eating, we often got lack of food. Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say: “Eat this rice, son. I’m not hungry”

------------ MOTHER’S FIRST LIE

When I was getting to grow up, the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fishes she got, she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I ate. My heart was touched when I saw it. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused it and said: “Eat this fish, son. I don’t really like fish.”

------------ MOTHER’S SECOND LIE

Then, when I was in Junior High School, to fund my study, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in. It gave her some money for covering our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke, supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued the work of sticking some used-matches box. I said, “Mother, go to sleep, it’s late, tomorrow morning you still have to go for work.” Mother smiled and said: “Go to sleep, dear. I’m not tired.”

-------------MOTHER’S THIRD LIE

At the time of final term, mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me. While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine, the strong and persevering mother waited for me under the heat of the sun’s shine for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared before in a cold bottle. The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother’s love, which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said: “Drink, son. I’m not thirsty!”

----------- MOTHER’S FORTH LIE

After the death of my father because of illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone. Our family’s life was more complicated. No days without sufferance. Seeing our family’s condition that was getting worse, there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us, either in a big problem and a small problem. Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family’s life was so unfortunate, they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother, who was stubborn, didn’t care to their advice, she said: “I don’t need love”

------------------ MOTHER’S FIFTH LIE

After I had finished my study and then got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn’t want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs. I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs, but she was stubborn for not accepting the money. She even sent the money back to me. She said: “I have enough money.”

---------------- MOTHER’S SIXTH LIE

After graduated from Bachelor Degree, I then continued my study to Master Degree. I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary, I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn’t want to bother her son, she said to me: “I’m not used to.”

------------------ MOTHER’S SEVENTH LIE

After entering her old age, mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean, directly went home to visit my dearest mother. She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn. She tried to spread her smile on her face; even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out. It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother’s body, thus she looked so weak and thin. I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face. My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition. But mother, with her strength, said: “Don’t cry, my dear. I’m not in pain.”

----------------- MOTHER’S EIGHTH LIE

After saying her eighth lie, my dearest mother closed her eyes forever.

From the story above, I believe that you, my dear friends, feel touched and eager to say: “Thank you, Mom!” Let’s try to think, friends. How long haven’t we called our parents? How long haven’t we spent our time for chatting with them? During our crowded activities, we always have thousands reasons to leave our lonely parents.

We always forget to our parents who stay at home. If comparing with our girlfriend, we surely give our care more to her. As a proof, we always worry on her condition. Worry about whether she has eaten or not, worry about whether she will be happy if she is beside us someday.

However, have we ever worried about our parents? Worry about whether they have eaten or not? Worry about whether they are happy or not? Is it true? If the answer is yes, let’s try to think again... At the time that we still have the chance to payback their kindness, do it the best...

About the author:

Story by J Sidharta, to get free inspiration story weekly visit www.homedepotinspiration.com or e-mail homeinspiration@asianbrainfollowup.com.

Learn to feel Good about Yourself

2006-10-23T09:53:00.000+08:00

It happened to you more than once to meet a person and before getting to actually know the person, to realize that you simply couldn't get along well with him or her, no matter how hard you tried.

There are a lot of ancient believes, which say that people we simply can't stand, reflect, in fact, a bad or weak point of our own personality, which we totally dislike. In other words, if you dislike about yourself the fact that you are afraid to speak in public and you are making efforts to change that, you will probably despise people who have the same problem that you do. Nevertheless, once you solve your problem, your feelings towards that person, might turn into pity and you might find yourself trying to help that person.

Always remember that, in order to feel good about yourself, you have to create and maintain a perfect harmony between your inner and outer world, meaning between your soul and your body, between your thoughts and actions, between yourself alone and yourself in the company of others.
We all agree that our inner world, our souls, have a great impact on also on the action we perform in the outside world, which is why specialists strongly advise you to meditate on how to achieve harmony within yourself. Here are also some things to keep in mind:

* Try to forgive more, because nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. Accept the errors that people around you commit, but don't forget about your own mistakes. Remember that it takes a very strong person to have the power to admit having done something condemnable and even if, at the beginning, the others might blame you, be sure that, after a while, they will appreciate your honesty.

* Get more attached to the persons around you and say a strong no to the isolation. Scientists confirm that human beings are more happy and feel more accomplished with themselves when living in society, surrounded by other people. Thus, you shouldn't be afraid to make more friends. If you are wondering how you can do that, we recommend you start by listening more to other people's problems, stop being egocentric and offer your help, whenever you're given the opportunity. The feeling of being useful to the others, will result into a feeling of quiet and peacefulness with your own person.

* Although everyday life gives you plenty of reasons to be angry and affected by stress, keep in mind that defeating these feelings will make stronger and thinking in a positive manner, by trying to discover the good aspects in any less desirable situation, will get you through problems.

* As the human being should be, as we stated before, a perfect harmony between our souls and our bodies, don't forget to take care of you physical appearance, as well. I you are not satisfied with the way you look, do not hesitate to do something about it. If your problem cannot be solved by any possible means, then you must start to love yourself exactly as you are. As soon as you do that, by finding the peacefulness and the joy of being alive, you'll discover the same kind of feelings also in the eyes of the ones surrounding you.

The last advice specialists give you is to never be afraid to ask for help or advice, because by doing that you do something for yourself, you let the others teach you how to improve your own person, which will always result in making you feel accomplished.

About the author

Jamie Snodgrass is an online marketer for many sites such as Self Improvement and Article Blog

Fear Be Gone

2006-10-23T08:43:00.000+08:00

I recently received an email that prompted me to answer a poll about what I feared most. I didn't reply to the email because my biggest fear at that moment was the fear of receiving more unsolicited email. However, I did start thinking about the subject of fear. What are we afraid of? What is fear? What can we do about it? We all have fears at one time or another and to one degree or another. I did a little research of my own and found that next to terrorist, fear of public speaking and fear of success ranked high on the list of things people fear most.

Fear of Public Speaking

According to one survey I read, many people fear public speaking more than death. Although most people are not aware of why they have a fear of public speaking on a conscious level, psychological studies have determined that nearly everyone who has a fear of public speaking experienced some major or minor trauma when they were younger that causes them to be fearful of public speaking as teenagers or adults.

Fear of Success

Another high ranking and common fear is fear of success. Success means achieving or accomplishing a goal. Success can mean the attainment of wealth, fame, power or whatever you truly desire for yourself. Success is a good thing. Why, then, are so many of us afraid of success either consciously or unconsciously? It is all about how we perceive success.

Instead of focusing on how good it will feel to finally accomplish our goals, we are focused on the negative aspects. Perhaps we have a memory of a successful person who was ridiculed for having "too much money". Perhaps we remember hearing that it is easier for a poor man to get into the kingdom of heaven or that successful people feel they are better than others. Therefore, we become fearful of what others may say and think about us if we become successful. We often sabotage our own success.

We are not afraid of success itself. We are afraid of what we imagine success might bring with it. We think we might or should feel guilty for having "the good life". We fear making our friends jealous and think they will no longer like us. We fear we are going to have to work harder to maintain our new status. We fear that we'll have to pay huge taxes. We fear that people will try to steal from us. We wonder what would happen if we were to lose our fortune.

A Powerful Emotion

Fear is an emotion and the symptoms of this emotion manifest in each of us in various ways. Some of the symptoms of fear are shallow breathing, sweaty palms, upset stomach, nervousness, headache, inability to speak, inability to think clearly, depression, uncontrollable shaking, inability to moved, and anger. People literally lose their lives and have been known to take someone else's life out of fear. All of the "isms" are the children of fear – racism, chauvinism, classism, sexism. Wars and crime thrive on fear.

Fear takes away our creativity, imagination, freedom and peace. Fear stops us from pursuing our dreams. Fear destroys relationships and can make us physically ill. These four letters, F E A R, represent the most powerful negative emotion that exists.

And just think, we have all this unhappiness and suffering over something that does not even exist except for the meaning or perception that we give to a person, place, thing or event. Our fears only live because each of us gives our own fears life. The fears we have exist because we nurture them, feed them, and acknowledge them.

Our Past Stories and Imaginations

In other words, our fears are based on our individual perceptions, and our perceptions are based on our individual stories or histories and our imaginations.

How else can we explain the fact that each of us has different fears and fears to different degrees? For instance, there are many people who love dogs. However, there are also people who fear dogs. Some love snakes and have them as pets. Yet, many others are extremely afraid of snakes and become traumatized at the mere sight of them.

Most of the time, we are not even aware of the stories that our fears are based on. Some of us have anxiety attacks and are fearful over a comment that another child made to us when we were small. In other words, we let a child from our past control our life and health today.

Release the Fear

In order to release the fear, we must change our perceptions about a person, event or object. Choose to see it for what it is – a person, an event or an object. Many of us fear things that have not happened and may never happen. We cannot enjoy our lives today because we are fearful of what the future may hold. We can choose to release ourselves from the hold that our past stories and our imaginations have on us.

If you are totally immobilized by fear of something, you can always seek assistance from techniques such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), or hypnotherapy. I encourage you to explore the options each of these techniques provide. Each of them, using their own methods, de-traumatizes past traumas and identify and integrate conflicting belief systems that keep us from doing things we want to do.

In my experience, these types of procedures can bring about relief from fears quickly. Instead of treating the symptoms, as medications do, these techniques and other similar procedures address the cause of the fear.

A Signal for Change

The positive aspect of fear is that it is a signal for change. If someone were to point a gun at us, in the mist of fear, we would hope that something would change for the better. Hopefully, we would think of some way to change the situation without being harmed. When faced with the fear of the possibility of a child being harmed, parents have found physical strength and mental courage that they did not know was possible.

And so it is with our everyday fears. Let fear be a signal to change or move in a new direction. Move beyond your comfort zone. Perhaps we need more knowledge about the person, place, or thing that is causing us to feel fearful. Most importantly, move toward love. Love yourself. Love everyone and everything. Love is the most powerful emotion. Where there is real love, fear will perish.

We Are More Powerful than Fear

In my opinion, failure to remember who we are in relation to God and this great Universe is the number one cause of fear. Where there is no faith, there is fear. The absence of belief in ourselves and what we are capable of creates doubt and fear.

Yes, there will be tragedies. No, things will not always go as you planned. Yes, there will be people who want to say negative things about you. These people would rather comment on what appear to be your flaws rather than deal with their own. Do not give them your power.

None of us are ordinary human beings. All of us are extraordinary divine beings. Everyone has the power that will not fail, should it be acknowledged and embraced. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this. I say, "Fear, be gone. You have no power here." Just by saying these words, it is as if I turn on a light and I see fear for what it really is – nothing.

About the author:

Wambui Bahati is an inspirational and motivational speaker and entertainer. Her passion is: Reminding you of your magnificence. www.wambui-bahati.com www.inspiration-motivation-celebration.com

Quality Time in Family

2006-10-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

Quality time – games, books, television, computer: how, why and how much?

This article examines the term quality time and tries to clarify what should be emphasized when planning quality time with children. It also examines ways of knowing how to choose the better quality products from among the wealth of offerings on the market.

The meaning of the term quality time

The term was coined in response to the many hours parents work and the long stretches of time they are away from home. Behind it is the notion that it not only the number of hours the parent spends with the child are important, but also the quality of the time, that is, how the parent fills the time he spends with his child.

Quality time means time devoted exclusively to the child and to engaging in activities with him. The parent interacts with and focuses all his attention on the child. The interaction consists of communication between them at a time when the parent is entirely free from other activities: he does not think about work, talk on the phone, try to sneak a peek at the TV, etc. Quality means emotional quality for the child. When the parent concentrates on the child, the latter feels he is important, loved and wanted. Those feelings contribute significantly to his self-confidence and to his relationship with the parent. During quality time, that is, when the parent is completely attentive to the child, it is easier for the child to open up share with his parent all kinds of things. That mutuality is very important for the foundation of the parent-child relationship and also enables the child to receive feedback from the parent, which will help him process his experience and perhaps see things from a different angle.

Quality time is not necessarily a time for “productions” or distractions, but rather a time when the parent is entirely focused on the child, attentive to him and as available as possible. Thus reading a story, playing a board game, or even playing hide and seek inside the house are all activities which can become quality time.

Quality time is not measured in terms of what the child has learned from the interaction but rather according to how much real, full attention he has received. Not every action with the child has to be educational. In today’s competitive society there is a very strong tendency to have the child make as much progress as possible and to enrich his knowledge. It is true that the child learns a great deal from his parents and that the parent has the enormous responsibility for teaching the child, but that does not mean that there is no time to play. If the parent and child played hide and seek and enjoyed themselves, then the child experienced quality time and profited emotionally

How is quality time spent?

Even if it is understood that quality time is measured by how free the parent is for the child, there is still the question of how to channel the time. The leading principle should be mutual enjoyment, that is, to search for activities that will enable pleasant, attentive interaction.

One way of spending the afternoon is to take the child to a local attraction, such as a jamboree or performance. When the parent decides on such an attraction it is important to remember not to raise the level of stimulation too quickly for small children. If a child is taken to an amusement park when he is two years old, where will his parent take him when he is four? If the parent decides to go to a performance, it is better at first to go to small, intimate performances and only at a later age to go to larger productions. To make the outing interesting the level of stimulation will have to be raised, and if it is high from the outset, problems are likely to arise. In addition, smaller places enable closer parent-child interaction, and that is what is really important.

Creative activities

Mutual parent-child creative activities can be an excellent time for closeness and conversation. For the child to be able to utilize his capacities and feel comfortable while engaging in creative activities, it is important to let him do things his own way. For example the parent should not force the child to fill the whole page when drawing' or demand that he use specific colors. Since his finished work is his personal stamp, it is important not to interpret the work but to allow the child to explain it himself. It is also important to provide detailed positive reinforcement as to why the work is pretty. Because the child’s finished product is an externalization of his inner world it is important to treat it with respect.

Of course, children of different ages can be given different materials to work with, from Playdoh and finger-paints to scissors and glue.

Games and toys

Today’s market is flooded with games and toys and the supply is enormous. The child does not need a lot of everything: he can play with the same toy a number of times, and he will only profit by using his imagination to find new ways of playing with the same game.

Choosing games and toys

First of all, the game or toy should be interesting and fun to play with for both parent and child, since both will play with it. It must be completely safe for the child. To be interesting it should be suited to the child’s level of development, including language ability, motor skills and ability to deal with complicated instructions. The game or toy does not have to teach the child something, it has to provide a pleasant mutual experience. To know which game is suitable for the child’s development, the parent can consult friends, the Internet, the kindergarten staff or friends with children.

In principle, at around two years of age the child can be acquainted with games that require coordination based on the understanding of concepts, such as the animal and its dwelling, the mother animal and its young, dominoes, etc. Such games allow the child to experience the significance of playing in turn, of playing with others and of postponing gratification, which are all skills he will acquire and practice, and calm interaction with a parent is a good time for such learning.

At around three years of age the child begins to play “pretend”, a socio-dramatic game that essentially imitates situations in the adult world. It is worthwhile to provide him with equipment for such games, such as kitchen utensils and a doctor’s bag, etc.

Physical games

Studies have shown that children with lots of good experience in movement will grow up with a positive self-image and confidence in themselves and their abilities. Parents should provide their children with motor experiences such as hide and go seek, a play ground or just and dance and jump together. Such games are often entertaining for the child and can also serve as a good way for parents and children to become close. The physical contact which is part of such games adds to parent-child closeness.

The importance of books

Reading books is a wonderful way of creating quality time, in that both parent and child concentrate together and experience the book being read. There are three kinds of children’s books: those whose aim is to help the child through an emotional process, such as weaning, going to sleep, divorce, etc.; those with an educational message, such as “it is best to be what you are,” “everyone is different and special,” etc.; and those which simply tell a story.

Regardless of the kind of story, first of all the child will profit from an intimate, pleasant situation with the parent, and the resulting enjoyment will reinforce the relationship, which is a very important benefit. Naturally, an additional benefit for the child will be the development of his vocabulary and language in general.

Many books raise the child’s independent emotional awareness. Children tend to identify relatively easily with characters in stories or to transfer the characters to significant figures in their own world. They discover that they are not the only ones to cope with a specific difficulty, and through a book can better understand their own feelings. Very often books suggest solutions which the child can adopt as is, or can use them as the basis for other solutions.

Books enable the child to preserve a certain distance from what happens: the story is not about him but about a fictional character and the distance allows him to examine his emotions, thoughts and behavior in a relatively protected and secure way, thus he can consider them without fear. Such a conversation will be possible mainly in quality time situations, that is, situations in which the child feels the parent is attentive to him and only him.

Choosing books

Today there are a great many books for toddlers, but how can the parent know if they are good or not? How can he know if it is suitable for his child? First of all, as with games, the book must please the parent who is supposed to read it. Then the following should be examined:

1. The relationship between text and pictures: as the child grows, there should be more text and fewer illustrations.

2. The degree to which the written language is suitable for the language of the child: at the beginning of language acquirement rhymes are more suitable, songs and poems that can be recited; later complex sentences can be included, as can the prepositions the child is supposed to learn.

3. The degree to which the book activates the child: action books arouse a greater degree of activity while they are being read, which is suitable for younger children whose attention span is shorter.

4. Illustrations: are they pleasing to look at, can they be used to develop interaction, etc.?

5. How complicated the story is: the older the child, the more complicated and longer the story can be, and the greater the number of characters it can have.

6. Coordinating the story to situations in the child’s life: if the parents know that changes are about to occur, shortly beforehand it is preferable to read a story in preparation for the subject, and to enable the child to process his feelings before the change takes place.

7. The child should be allowed to choose: the child can choose between two books the parent liked in the bookstore, and he can certainly choose what he wants to hear from among the books he has at home.

In summation, the most important thing about quality time is that it devotes attention to the child. The joint activity does not have to be very instructive or a great production, it should simply be done together.

About The Author

Tamar Levy is a child development specialist and obtains a M.A. in Preschool Counseling. Tamar acts as Director of Content at http://www.babytoonz.com, a leading producer of baby television programs and DVDs for infants.

Do It Now

2006-10-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

Do you spend more time procrastinating than being productive? Learn what causes procrastination and how to fight it. Procrastination is one of the biggest challenges we face in our busy lives.
“I’m going to do it, I’ve just been putting it off.”
“I just can’t find the time.”
“I’m still working out the details, but I’ll get to it soon.”

Procrastination is one of the biggest challenges we face in our busy lives. Most of us procrastinate, whether it’s putting off an undesirable task at work, or delaying the inevitable chore at home. Some of us do it more than others … Could I be describing anyone you know?

The dictionary says to procrastinate is “to put off doing something until later.” Although we really want or need to do something now, we don’t do it. Procrastination is one of the major stumbling blocks in trying to accomplish our goals.

But why do we do it, even though on a conscious level we know that we’re doing it, and the effect that it’s causing? And what can we do to combat this “thief” that robs us of productivity?

How does procrastination occur?

1. Overplanning. Rather than taking action, we continue to “plan” the action to be taken. As the argument goes, more planning is necessary before the action can be taken. The problem is, the “plan” will never be 100%.

2. Perfectionism. This is related to overplanning. Here, every detail must be perfected, though this is really not necessary.

3. Boring tasks. One simply lacks the motivation to continue action on mundane tasks. Why perform a boring task, when you could be doing something exciting?

4. Too complex, time-consuming. It’s much easier to do a lesser task, and easy to not do a bigger one.

5. Need for adrenaline. For some, it is very satisfying to finish a task just before the deadline. The risk is, if cut too close, it will not be finished on time.

How can we fight procrastination?

1. Set deadlines. Knowing that we need to accomplish something by a specific time leads us to action.

2. Break task into small pieces. Reducing the task to smaller, more manageable pieces helps to avoid confusion and overwhelm, two causes of procrastination.

3. Get started, even if you can only do a little. Better to chip away than to so several lesser tasks.

4. Commit to just five minutes. If you make a firm commitment to this short period of time, you will often continue on track for much longer. If it’s just not happening after five minutes, then stop—at least you got something accomplished.

5. Enlist a buddy. Making a commitment to another person provides additional leverage. Make sure the person cares enough to follow up.

6. Use affirmations. By repeating these commands or statements, you enlist the help of your subconscious mind to move you toward completion of the task. Affirmations such as “I begin immediately on my most important task, and stay with it until complete,” repeated over and over, will have a dramatic effect over time on your ability to take action.

7. Take a break. If you’re stuck, take a break for a few minutes. Just make sure you go back after a short break.

8. Do the unpleasant task first. By getting the hard stuff out of the way first, the rest seems easy (and more doable) by comparison.

9. Build momentum with an easy task. Sometimes, though, the hard stuff seems too difficult. If that’s the case, then start with something easier, but still relevant.

10. Make commitment publicly. Life enlisting a buddy, this public declaration gives notice that you intend to complete the task, and provides additional leverage for doing so.

By recognizing why procrastination occurs, and utilizing the tools above to fight it, you will begin performing much more efficiently than you ever have before. Remember, just do something, and do it now!

Brian Bartes is a top personal and business success coach. His bi-weekly newsletter is filled with strategies that support you in achieving greater success in your personal and professional life. Subscribe today at his website, http://www.lifeexcellence.com .

Turning Strangers into Friends with Conversation

2006-10-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

What’s the key to making a great first impression? How about just being yourself! Many people think that whenever they meet someone new, they have to put on a false front, or pretend to be someone they’re not.
Actually, being your real self will work better if you really want to connect with other people.

One of the most common reasons that people have difficulty making conversation with someone they don’t know very well is because they put too much pressure on themselves to put on a great performance.

Because of this sense of pressure, they try too hard to be impressive, to talk a lot, and to brag about their accomplishments. They won’t spend any time listening to and getting to know the person they are with.

Instead of impressing the other person however, this kind of self centered behavior is likely to irritate and annoy them.

Here’s a very important lesson to learn about making conversation with new people: Insisting to yourself that you have to be brilliant and dazzling in all your conversations will not win you new friends. It will not even improve your conversational performance.

When you think to yourself that you have to perform perfectly in all your conversations, and put up a false front, you will actually make your performance worse! You will become too nervous and awkward, and you’ll be too focused on your own performance. You won’t be focused on getting to know the new person you’ve just met.

New people that you meet are not looking for brilliant conversation. What they are looking for is someone who will be comfortable to be with, and fun to talk to. But most of all they are looking for someone who seems interested in them!

If you really want to impress the person you are meeting, it’s more important to be a good listener than to be a great talker.

If you want to know that person better, you can start by exchanging a few low key pleasantries, but you should move on quickly to a slightly more personal level of discussion. Ask a few basic questions and offer a little bit of information about yourself, your likes or dislikes, or your opinion on some neutral topic. Notice whether the other person lights up with interest about any topics you mention.

This can give you new interesting areas for both of you to discuss. Try to find out who they are, and what is interesting to them.

Even if it seems somewhat difficult and awkward for you in the beginning, develop the habit of introducing yourself to others as soon as you meet them, or very early in the conversation. Otherwise you could spend hours talking and neither of you will have any idea of what your conversation partner’s name is.

Socially confident people introduce themselves to their conversation partners very early in the course of conversation. People who are shy or socially awkward tend to introduce themselves much later, or not at all. Shy people often wait until someone asks for their name, but they rarely volunteer to give it, and they rarely ask the other person for their name.

Sometimes it is easier to ask the other person for their name first, and then offer your own. If you practice the new behavior enough times, it will eventually become second nature to you. With enough practice, it will no longer seem intimidating to take a more active role.

The important thing is simply to develop the habit of starting simple little conversations with lots more people. Look for the interests you have in common.

So remember: Show interest in other people. Smile. Listen. Look at the person you’re talking with.

Whenever you start talking to new people, don’t strive for great dialogue, or the perfect opening lines. Just get started, and keep on talking. Focus more on finding out what is interesting about the other person than on talking about what is interesting about you.

Let other people get to know the real you, instead of a fake you.

This article was written by friendship expert Royane Real, author of the self help book How You Can Have All the Friends You Want available at her website. Sign up for the free Royane Real Newsletter, with life improving tips and ideas at http://www.royanereal.com